Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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