im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
