Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
