Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
