nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
