Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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