What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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