Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is wine microwaveable?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
