as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He shit in the fireplace
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
