I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
