the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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