You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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