I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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