That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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