We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
