I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
