I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
