Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
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The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
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My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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