apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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