Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
