he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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