What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
