it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
