If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
