Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
