I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i wish my penis had a tongue
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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