Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize