Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize