brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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