last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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