yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
