i would punch a child for taco bell
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
