Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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