does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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