i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
