Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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