im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
