i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
