I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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