Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
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My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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