He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
