I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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