doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can I color on your dick again?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
