The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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