i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
