you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
