Me. At least after what I've been through.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
