she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize