My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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