Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love you.
Bad choice
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
