pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
