How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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