So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
