she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
