Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
