last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
