Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
