At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
