Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
