do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
