So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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